Be Your Own Superhero!

Life is tough. What can we do about that? How can we overcome difficulties, how can we kill the pain and stop suffering?

Frankly speaking my first reaction used to be looking for help from others. And it is not a bad thing. Our ancestors wouldn't survive if they didn't help each other. And I think that asking for help from others is a part of our nature, it's our natural selection setup. But if in the past external help was crucial for life saving, nowadays it is not as critical as thousands of years ago. A big part of our stress is not a real danger and is something that we can and we should fight on our own.

Some people are lucky and they have someone to rely on anytime: parents, or a partner, or a good friend. But what if you feel really bad and there is no one around? People can be busy with their own issues, they can have no capacity to help you. What should you do then?

My answer is: find a hero within yourself! :)

Everyone has a potential to be strong. I developed few steps for myself and maybe they will help you to become independent and powerful!

1. Love yourself. No matter what is going on in your life, you need to be loved. And if you cannot get love from outside, you must create it within. It is your own choice - to accept yourself or not. And if you want to be successful, independent and strong, self-love is the first thing you need to create. Not ego-centrism which only makes you weaker, but acceptance of who you are and loving yourself despite of flaws and failures.

2. Be compassionate and understanding. We often are sicking for help from people who already reached their limits of supporting others. We don't know what is going on in their lives and claiming for something that they just don't have! We want their time, their attention, their support. But people can give you only as much as they have. So, when you are asking for help from others, be mindful and understand that sometimes they will not be able to be there for you not because you are not worthy or they are selfish but just because they have nothing to give at this point.

3. Find the meaning. When we hurt, when we feel pain we want it to go away as soon as possible. And we try everything we can to kill it: alcohol, drugs, sex, pills; we can get angry and yell at someone, or we can become whiny and call for help. And these are not always bad solutions but they take away the meaning of pain. And the meaning is self-growth and finding the new opportunities. I think that this is what distinguishes strong people from weak: the ability to see the good things in bad situations. Pain helps us to grow if you use it right. It opens new possibilities, it pushes us to use our potential. And this is my next point.

4. Use your potential. When we are doing what we like we stop thinking about negativity. The more you use your potential the more joyful your life is. The biggest mistake in life is ignoring your gift and leaning towards the biology and instincts or external stereotypes and what others want you to do. Be focused on the things that you really like and when you feel bad, do these things. Try to stay in focused mode and work on achieving your internal goals.

5. Accept. We all are humans and we have initial setup that we cannot change: our hormones, natural selection, genes, personal set of experiences, etc. And there are things we cannot fight. When I feel pain because of my hormones, I just accept it and give myself some time to sit through it. If there is something you can't change or when you are too tired to fight - just accept it and give it a time. It will help you to be more independent. And when you are not able to control your biological part for example - forgive yourself. It is very important too. Nobody is perfect, we all have our moments. Sometimes the less energy you give to fighting certain situations - the better.

6. Be mindful. Mindfulness helps you to know yourself and to understand what is going on in your brain and what is the true reason of your pain. And as long as you know the real cause of your suffering you can find the best way to fight it or accept it. One way to be more mindful is to practice meditation. The other way is to become a neuroscientist or at least try to get some knowledge about the brain structure, how it works, what is the natural selection, how your genes can effect your decisions, etc. From my point of view the best thing is to explore different sources and to learn as much as you can.

7. Be grateful. This one is very simple. When we are focused on things we are grateful for we become more resilient and can go through difficult times much easier. Trust your life, it will always help you when it is really needed. And be thankful for all the people who have ever helped you even if it was just one kind word or a warm smile!

As you can see in order to be strong you need to put efforts. Mental strength is the same as physical. If you want to build your muscles you need to work out, if you want to become your own superhero you need to start with training your own brain. This should be your main focus!

Every person in this world has a power within. You just need to get it out!

Be Strong And Love Yourself!