Not Happy? Make A Change!
A year ago I was a different person... Even yesterday I was different. Our life changes every minute and some of these changes we can control. And we also can try to control our reaction to the external changes.
The biggest change that we can make, from my point of view, lies within our own brain.
I believe that you can train your mind to become more positive over time little by little!
The hardest part is to start. I will share some steps that helped to improve my life and they were not very difficult.
1. Take Responsibility. First thing you need to do, if you really want to change your life for the best and be happy, is to take responsibility for your own happiness. You shouldn't rely with it on others. Even if you have a nice partner, caring parents, thoughtful friends they cannot be with you 24/7, constantly in a good mood and full of energy. You are the only person who is always there for you. It doesn't mean that you shouldn't ask for help if you need it. But you shouldn't get offended or depressed if help is not coming the way you expected. A lot of times we don't want to take responsibility because we are lazy. So why should other person pay for our inactive behavior? If you don't want to take responsibility for your own happiness how can you ask others to do it for you?
2. Find Your Purpose. Once you realized that you are the one who can make you happy, you need to figure out: how? Happiness is not so much a pleasure, but using your potential. So you need to find out where this potential lies. Everyone has a unique gift. Your job is to identify yours and focus on it. The more you love what you do, the more successful you'll be. Just think of something that makes you happy and satisfied and that can help other people around you and make this world a better place. Once you found it - work on developing this gift, make it a priority. You will see how your life will change when you start using your potential in full! It is a wonderful feeling! Your gift is a placebo from all the disappointments!
3. Work Hard. If you want to see positive changes in your life, you need to work hard. I have never had a situation when I've been working like crazy and it was not appreciated. It can take time and a lot of people give up in the middle of something and complain that they put so much efforts and nothing happened. Well, I would say it means that you need to put more. And it is not just about work, it's about everything you are doing, even everything you are thinking about! I don't mean that you need to kill yourself. We all have bad days, we all need time to relax. Work hard means that you must use your potential in full. If you don't use it - you lose it. So try your best to find your strengths and let them work for you as much as you can! You are wonderful and you have unique qualities that this world needs. Don't hide them, share them with others!
4. Identify your weaknesses. It is very important to be true to yourself. Don't be afraid to admit that you are not perfect! When you honestly tell yourself that you need the improvements in some areas, you start working on them. If you hide your weaknesses, you will not be able to get rid of them. Of course some of them are not fixable. But then you need to accept them and think what strength can compensate them, and focus on growing this strength. All you need to do is to have the list of your flaws and solutions: either accepting them and soften them with your talents, or put efforts to make improvements in the area you are struggling with. My biggest weakness is not being able to focus. I get distracted very easily. So I am trying to train my brain with different attention exercises and self-discipline improvement.
5. Change Habits. If you want to change your life, you need to change your everyday habits. For example, if you want to lose weight, you need to change your diet and start working out. If you want to learn new skills like playing piano, you need to start practicing. It is very hard to change your habits. I would recommend to start with tiny changes. When I wanted to learn how to do splits, I started with 12 minutes workout. Not 30 minutes, not an hour, just 12 minutes. Because it was easier for my brain to start it when I knew that I didn't have to put too much efforts. Over time I kept adding minutes and in few month I was able to do splits. And it helped me to develop discipline, which is extremely important. You can also add a new habit to existing one. For example, you go to bed every night and you can add the habit of reading one page of self-development book before you fall asleep. Just one page, as soon as you lay down to bed. Not too hard, isn't it?
6. Take Notes. I think it is very important to evaluate your success and your failures every day before you go to bed. I love to write down 3 lessons learned during the day. What did I do wrong and what are my areas for improvements. And I also put in my self-planner the list of my daily wins. What did I do that I could be proud of? What can I keep doing? And of course you should keep track of things you are grateful for! Write down 3 very-very (I am serious, very-very) specific things you are thankful for which happened during the past 24 hours. It will help your brain to learn how to scan the environment and find positive things which leads to noticing new opportunities easily. To sum up this paragraph: do lessons learned, my daily wins and 3 things I am grateful for!
7. Love Yourself! I will never stop repeating these words: Be Strong And Love Yourself! It is very important to believe in yourself, in your own potential. There will be a lot of people who can try to demotivate you only because they don't know you as good as you know yourself. So you need to learn how to turn off this noise and focus on your own goals without explaining your actions. You don't have to prove anything to anybody, it is just wasting of time. Take care of yourself, try to build the best life for yourself as you can. Have high standards, don't settle for less. Do whatever is meaningful for you! Be kind to yourself, but don't forget about discipline which will help you to grow.
Think about your life, about all the things that you can do for yourself and others and start using your potential in full today, don't delay this wonderful moment! And, trust me, life will pay you back ;)
Be Strong And Love Yourself!
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