Mindfulness And Love By Dasha

If you think that meditation is something difficult, but at the same time you feel that it can benefit you - you should read this article!

There are so many books about meditation, plenty of classes, videos, apps, etc. You can find on-line interviews with very experienced meditators, who were practicing mindfulness their whole life. I am sure they know much more than I do about this subject. But I still want to share my very personal vision! It is mindfulness by Dasha: what does it mean to me, how does it help me, how did I start and where am I now. And how it helped me to learn how to love myself and others.

I didn't understand the point of meditation in the beginning. I remember how my friend took me to the Buddhist Temple in Chicago to practice mindfulness. Nobody explained to me what exactly I needed to do. Nobody told me that I should have been paying attention to my breath or tried to move from default mode of thinking to focused. I literally knew nothing. And you know what this "meditation" did to me? It made me feel horrible. The whole time my mind was wandering and I couldn't stop thinking about my flaws and relationship issues and I left the temple in tears. So instead of getting some relief I made myself feel miserable and mentally tired. This was my first meditation experience. No wonder after that I didn't want to go back to this practice.

About a year later, maybe even more, I accidentally found on-line class - "A Life Of Happiness And Fulfillment". It is an awesome course for those who is suffering and looking for the way to improve their lives. Dr. Rajagopal Raghunathan explains the main ideas of happiness in easy and entertaining way. But at the same time what I really liked about this course was the logic, studies and researches behind its statements. And Dr. Raj could explain the idea of mindfulness in such a logical way that I was eager to give it a try again! And this time when I knew what was the purpose of meditation, when I had some vision of what it could be, I really enjoyed it! I cried again but these were the tears of happiness. I tried guided meditation which was offered in this course and I felt like I let go a lot of negativity and filled myself with the light.

From this course I also found out about Vipassana. And I decided that I needed to go to meditation retreat and try to practice this technique. Vipassana means - see things as they really are. It is the state of absolute awareness. I was not sure back then how would it work but I definitely wanted to give it a try. I came to the retreat with the hope that I would learn something very important, something that would help me to understand myself. I didn't think about my life purpose, I just wanted to find the way to decrease my pain.

For ten days we had to keep a noble silence. For four days we were practicing Anapana - specific type of breathing with focusing on the area under your nose. And then we started Vipassana where we were working with our whole body's sensations. We were sitting several times a day. Three times a day we had mandatory meditation sittings with no movements and just scanning your body. My first couple of days I couldn't meditate. I only practiced guided meditation before and I didn't get used to the silent sitting. At some point I was just multiplying some numbers in my head because just sitting there was extremely difficult. My mind was wandering a lot. But practice won and at some point I was able to learn how to focus on my breath and my nose area. And when we got to Vipassana itself I actually felt pretty good about it. On day five or six I even felt incredible pleasure of being able to recognize all sorts of sensations in my body, I was excited and happy! But next day I couldn't repeat the same sensations and got mad at myself and at Goenka, the teacher. It was a good lesson. One of the important ideas of Vipassana is the idea that everything changes. Feelings come and go, nothing lasts forever. And one day meditation practice can be very successful and another day it can be horrible. There is nothing wrong about it. And what we need to learn to do through meditation - is the way to stay calm in any situation, to learn how to accept unpleasant sensations and not craving for pleasant. It was really good experience, I am really glad that I tried it. Now if I feel upset I am trying to remind myself that this feeling will go away and I usually don't react too much.

What impressed me the most was the teacher's talk about love. This was always my favorite theme! I was thinking about love a lot. So when Goenka started to talk about the main subject of my thoughts I was full of attention. I was very happy to hear that his ideas and understanding of love were the same as mine. I felt some relief. This knowledge gave me a new meaning. I decided for myself that I needed to learn how to love purely and unconditionally. And that if I was able to do that, I would be able to get rid of my major source of suffering. Pure love was the great option!

I heard that people sometimes find themselves, their purpose on retreats like that. So I felt like I found mine. I was very happy and full of hopes!

Couple of months later I found a wonderful App - Insight Timer. I have been using it every day for about a year already. It has thousands of guided meditations. You can find something that works best for you. I signed up to group which was called 365 days. The idea of this group was to try to meditate every day in 2017, it was a good challenge. I was not able to do it. Unfortunately, I missed one day in the very beginning of the year, on January 6th. But I decided to continue my progress anyway. The good thing was that I found awesome meditation course by Michelle Zarrin - "Meditate for Peace". It was 20 days guided meditation course where you add 1 minute every day and go from 1 minute duration to 20. I tried a lot of different guided meditations, but this one really changed something within me. I think that with her technique Michelle helped me to find this space of nothingness, the place with no thoughts! And I was able to listen to myself, to understand what I wanted, and to find peace within myself. Of course it didn't happen in one day, it took hours and days of practice and I am still learning. But I did learn the way to unplug my brain and restart it. Very useful technique!

Meditation helped me to find my inner-self. Instead of wasting time on overthinking I focus on my purpose, I stay in present moment and believe that everything happens in my highest good. Mindfulness helped me to find a way to love myself and as a result - give my love to others, to love unconditionally.

The interesting thing is that this pure love made me more spiritual, and it made me a better person. And it helped me to accept myself the way I am, and to love myself. I became kinder and more compassionate in general. And I also became more calm. I wanted to love the right way so much, that I learned how to take care of myself and how to be happy for no reason. I worked hard on my self-esteem and my confidence so they would not ruin my relationships. And I am very focused on my self-development and brain training. Because of my pure love I found my life purpose and I started this Blog. I have so much love within me that I want to share it with others!

Love works miracles if you believe in it! I don't believe in commitments or duties, I really don't. But I do believe in unconditional love and all the benefits it can give! But pure love starts with self-love. If you don't know how to take care of yourself, if you don't believe in yourself, you cannot provide love to others. Happiness starts within you, love starts in your heart! You can change your life, you can work these miracles! All you need to do is just believe in your potential and use it as much as you can! And meditation can help you to listen to your inner-self and to understand what you really want! It is the key to your own mind, your self-understanding and understanding others.

In the end I would like to add that meditation is not something extremely difficult. Even if you just take a couple of conscious breaths and can focus for at least a moment you are already being mindful. When you recognize your thoughts as just thoughts and don't react, again, you are mindful. If you are focusing on the work you are doing it is also some sort of meditation. But I would recommend to start conscious breathing for two minutes a day. It is better to do it for a short period of time but regularly than doing it once a month for an hour or not practicing at all. And accept the fact that you will see the result in a while. Think of it as of building muscles - it cannot be done during one workout. Believe me, at some point you will start noticing the results of your work and your life will never be the same!

Practice, practice, practice!

I am grateful for all the resources that I found on-line and for all the people that spend their time to help others to find themselves! This Blog is my way to pay back!

Be Strong And Love Yourself!

Photographer Alyona Milyutina