How To Forget About Someone
Hello my dear friends! I hope you are doing well!
Today I want to share a little bit of my personal experience. Usually I prefer to keep it to myself, but this time I decided that my story might help someone.
Here is the link to my video on this subject on YouTube: How To Forget About Someone.
About three months ago the man that I really liked decided to stop seeing me. Of course I didn't try to get him back, so he just disappeared from my life. But memories about him still come to my mind sometimes, and usually these thoughts bring me unpleasant sensations. I started to think what can I do about this situation. And I found some solutions that I wanted to share because they worked perfectly for me!
1. Acceptance. The more you try to forget about someone the worse you feel. When you experience pain, your mind tries to get rid of it and it creates action plans of what you can do. But in reality you cannot just forget about someone in one day. It does take some time to take the person out of your head. And when you are trying to find a way to forget immediately, you simply are waisting your time and energy on something that is not even possible. On other hand, if you accept the fact that you will be thinking about this person for a while, you stop waisting your time on useless action plans and let it go. I felt so much better when I just decided that I should do nothing about this problem and just need to wait. It helped me to switch my thoughts to my daily activities and pain went away.
2. Gratitude. There is always something good about any person we meet in our lives. And if you spent with your partner some time, I bet there was something good about him or her. When you start thinking about your ex, think about pleasant moments that you have together, and be thankful for them!
2. Meditation. If you can stay mindful and watch your thoughts, you can avoid overthinking. And overthinking is the real problem, not the fact that someone left you. In order to be conscious you need to practice all the time. There are a lot of techniques, it is not hard to find them nowadays. I love Thich Nhat Hanh's meditations, but you can use something else. The point is that you need to be able to notice that you started to create useless action plans, that I described above. Again, we suffer not because of the event itself, but because we keep it inside and don't let it flow through. Meditation will not help you to forget abut someone but it will help you to decrease the amount of thinking about him or her to minimum. This way you won't block your energy and you will feel much better!
3. Be Organized. You need to have your life and to keep yourself busy. If you have your own projects, if you scheduled everything and built your agenda, you won't have time to think too much. It is all about not thinking, ha-ha. Hobby helps me a lot. When I sew, for example, I get so focused that I cannot think about anything else. It is great when you have something that you enjoy!
4. Willpower. Use your willpower when your mind wants to check your ex's social media. I had the desire to do that, but was able to stop myself. And this feeling of self-control gives me much more pleasure than staring at photos or videos of someone from the past. Don't torture yourself, live your life! Unless looking at his or her social media profile makes you happy. It happens sometimes, when you know that everything is okay with someone you love. But I still wouldn't recommend to do that :)
5. Pause. What I wouldn't recommend either is to look for a new partner right away. I am not saying that you need to avoid people. If Universe sends you someone, go for it! But don't try to chase happiness by going on endless dates with the hope that they will take your pain away. Everything that we are experiencing is coming from inside. And other person will not change your brain or your way of thinking. Take a pause and give yourself sometime to get over your experience. Otherwise you will steal from yourself the opportunity to prove yo yourself that you can handle the breakup. I lived in a fear of losing the man that I liked for more than three year, it was a torture. And only now I am able to see that even if I get single my life wouldn't fall apart. And if I meet someone in future I wouldn't be so scared of losing this person, because I am able to see that I am whole and complete within myself!
I hope my advices will help you! And remember: all experiences are the learning opportunities and it is not so bad to be single, if you don't define it as bad, it is always your decision how to look at things!
Be Strong And Love Yourself!
Love Wins!
From Dasha With Love!