Your Loneliness Is Your Friend.
Hi Everyone!
I wanted to write an article about solving the problems, but today I am in the mood of writing about loneliness. I will get back to "Solving The Problems" topic, because I do want to share some very easy solutions. But I think blogging should come from your heart and to me the main point of it is to share what I feel.
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Couple of days ago I started to feel very lonely. I don't know why. Usually I spend a lot of time by myself and I don't have any problems with that. But all of a sudden I felt like something was missing. I was watching an interview with a Russian entrepreneur. He was saying that he had really tough period of his life when he lost all of his money, he owed a lot to several banks and he couldn't sell the product that he bought in China for realization in Russia (he got blankets with sleeves, at some point he thought that it was a good idea, ha-ha). So he was drinking and didn't know what to do. And his friend took him to some place where a lot of entrepreneurs were gathering together. And this successful environment helped this guy to believe in himself. He is 35 years old now and has several successful businesses.
And I started to think about environment I am in... I love my family, love my friends, but most of the time I spend by myself. And at work I spend time with my co-workers who have really different mindset from mine. I have a lot of friends with kids, and their kids are their meaning in life. I don't have children and my focus is mostly on my self-development. And there are not too many people who want to share with me my passion. And I think because of this idea of not having some type of spiritual and self-development environment, I felt lonely.
I was feeling very uncomfortable for two days, I wanted to talk to someone, but didn't know who could I talk to. I didn't want to upset my family and I was not sure that my friends would understand me. I started to think about my ex-boyfriend, because with him I never felt lonely, and he did like to talk about self-development, we shared motivational videos with each other and he was a very strong person. He did Ironman and tons of marathons and racings, he was very competitive by nature. He never complained and never blamed others, always was taking responsibilities for his problems. He had personality that I admired. And not because he was better or worse than others, he was just the way I liked.
All these memories made me even more upset and even more lonely. My mind was desperately trying to find someone who could help me. But my conscious part declined all the options suggested by my programming. I knew that I couldn't spend my weekend in tears, thinking about the past. So what did I do?
I turned off my phone! :-)
Instead of trying to avoid loneliness I decided to face it! One thing I know for sure: if you run away from the problem, you will never be able to get rid of it. I went for a walk, came back home, turn on video about mindfulness and started to sew. And you know what? I was sewing and thinking, "God, it feels so good!" It was so calming and so pleasant. My mind stopped creating action plans, I didn't need anyone to help me anymore. I was just enjoying the moment.
The Kingdom is within you. You will never find happiness in something external. If you keep relying on other people every time you feel lonely you will be always scared and will always be chasing something. On other hand, if you give yourself a chance to prove yourself how strong and independent you are, if you see how you can make yourself happy, you will train your brain so it doesn't go crazy every time you have nobody to talk to.
For some reason I forgot how easy it was to be happy, how little effort it takes. My fears made me forgetful. Fears and busyness with trying to find the solution when there was nothing to solve. I have everything I need within myself. I don't need to look for a partner or a friend to feel good. And the realization of that is the best!
I am very happy that I had this situation when I felt lonely! I am glad that I had this pain, I am grateful for opportunity to be by myself and to see how easy it is to get rid of loneliness.
I want to encourage you to look into yourself instead of trying to change something external. Life will be much easier if you do so. You have all the answers within you, I swear, you just need to have enough courage to go through a little bit of pain in order to get these answers. Don't avoid difficulties, use them to become stronger. And I will talk about it in my next blog post. See you in a week!
Be Strong And Love Yourself!
From Dasha With Love!
Love Wins!