You Can Be Happy!

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Few days ago I was tired after work and when I got home I was in a bad mood. And I decided that it was okay. And I even thought that I should make a post on how you cannot be happy all the time and that sadness is normal. But the next day I was not in a very good mood either, and the next day I woke up upset again. And then I realized that it was not okay to be sad, and I felt that I needed to do something about it. I took some books from the shelf and after reading some parts of them I felt much better!

Here is the video about my today's post: You Can Be Happy!

I mean we can get upset sometimes, but I would say for no longer than for 5 minutes. Unless major unpleasant unexpected changes take place. And in my case nothing bad really happened. I was just tired and didn't want to put efforts to make myself happy. I wanted someone else to do it for me.

It is very important to understand the reason of your unhappiness. And I believe that the majority of our unpleasant sensations are coming from our fears. And these fears sometimes are unconscious and we don't even realize them. But these fears create tons of action plans on how you should get rid of the reason of fear, and these action plans make us tired and exhausted. They are the main reason of our bad mood.

When you constantly work on yourself and can control your fears and these useless action plans, you don't waste your energy, don't get mentally tired and can stay happy and positive!

I want to quote some great books which helped me a lot to overcome some not very pleasant moments of my life.

I would like to start with the book "The Human Brain" by Rita Carter. I think that if you know how your brain works it is easier to understand why you can experience certain emotions and feelings. And this is what I found about amygdala, the part of the brain which is responsible for our fears:

"Mediating Amygdala Response. The amygdala is activated by frightening stimuli. However, the hormone oxytocin, secreted by hippocampus, damps down amygdala activity and with it the feeling of fright."

It means that your brain has ability to control your fears and if you know how to develop oxytocin, you can get rid of your fears and as a result of your unpleasant sensations.

There is a great book about fear which is called "Feel The Fear... And Do It Anyway" by Susan Jeffers. This book helped me a lot when I was going through difficult period of my life. Here is very important quote from this book:

"All you have to do to diminish your fear is to develop more trust in your ability to handle whatever comes your way!"

I find this idea extremely useful. And I think my only problem is that I forget about it. That is why it is so important to work on yourself constantly. You cannot read a book once and expect never-ending happiness for the rest of your life. Keep training your brain every day!

So why do we have fears? We have fears because we don't want to experience pain. And we are so afraid of pain (which a lot of times is not even real, we make it up) that we do everything we can to avoid it. And this desire to avoid any type of pain makes us so exhausted. Pain itself makes us less unhappy than the fear of it and the efforts that we put to avoid it. Believe me, it is much easier to go through the pain rather than try to escape from it your whole life.

And here is my favorite quote about pain from Michael Singer's book "The Untethered Soul":

"In truth, pain is the price of freedom. And the moment you are willing to pay that price, you will no longer be afraid. The moment you are not afraid of the pain, you'll be able to face all of life's situations without fear."

Why run away from pain? Why take away this opportunity to prove to yourself that you can handle it? If you have some difficult situation in your life, use it to make yourself stronger. It is the same as lifting weights in gym. You cannot grow your muscles if you don't work out. But once you learned how to work with your pain, you can be free from suffering!

Another great book about making yourself happy is "No Excuses" by Brian Tracy. And Brian is all about taking responsibilities for your life and working on yourself. I love his approach and I found his book very helpful and inspirational. This is what he says about happiness:

"Your ability to achieve your own happiness is the true measure of your success in life. Nothing is more important. Nothing can replace it. If you accomplish everything of a material nature, but you are not happy, you have actually failed at fulfilling your potential as a human being.

...

You can only truly be happy when you practice self-discipline, self-mastery, and self-control."

So as you can see, if you work on yourself, you can learn how to be happy. And it should be your ultimate goal. It doesn't matter what you have, what matters is how happy you are! And it only depends on you! Isn't it awesome? Just work on your self-control, self-discipline, and self-mastery!

In regards to mastery I would like to quote a book by Robert Greene which is called "Mastery". To be honest this book was one of the hardest that I've ever read in English. It had a lot of words that I didn't know and I had to put some efforts in order to finish it. I got this book from the man that I love and respect deeply, and this fact that he gave it to me helped me to read the whole thing. Love inspires us and gives us energy :-) I am very thankful that I have read it. In this book Robert shows a lot of examples of people who achieved great result by mastering their skills. And this is what he says:

"The only real impediment to this [mastery] is yourself and your emotions - boredom, panic, frustration, insecurity. You cannot suppress such emotions - they are normal to the process and are experienced by everyone, including Masters. What you can do is have faith in the process."

Yes, we have these negative emotions, and we always will have them. We are human beings and we can get scared, frustrated, tired... But it doesn't mean that these emotions should control you. You are the master of your happiness. You can work on yourself and learn how to work with these negative emotions and how to stay positive in any situation! It is all up to you!

All these great books about self-development teach us that we should take responsibility for our happiness and work on it constantly. No one else can do it for you. And it is probably not extremely easy to work on yourself, but in a long run your life will be so much better if you invest your time on working with your emotions, your fears and if you use every opportunity to make yourself stronger!

Please don't waste your time trying to change the world around you, trying to control other people. Stay focused on yourself, on your knowledge, your growth, your strength, and of course on your self-love!

Be Strong And Love Yourself!

Love Wins!

From Dasha With Love!