Breakup and mental health

Hi my darlings! Thank you for reading my article :-)

Today I want to share with you my breakup experience and what I decided to do in order to help myself to go through it.

Here is the video for today’s post: breakup and mental health.

Couple of weeks ago, the man that I liked and dated for about six weeks told me that he didn’t have feelings for me anymore and we broke up. I was very upset. But I proud of myself that I accepted his decision and left his place almost right away without trying to change his mind or asking for anything.

But when I got home I cried a lot. I needed to do something that could help me to get distracted. So I decided to start a new self journal from BestSelf.co. It is a great way of being more disciplined and discipline always was a great tool for me in times of pain. I also got back to my Besaly Checklist.

On top of my discipline related actions I started taking a new class about communication on Coursera.

But I also needed to be around people, and I felt like I had the need to dress up and look cute. So I signed up for French classes in Alliance Français de Chicago :-) I was so happy about it! I already had my first class and I loved it!

But unfortunately I still kept crying. And I was crying several times a day. Once I even cried when I was on a video call with my director. Thank God she is kind and understanding, so she supported me and said some comforting words.

Not long time ago I watched Huberman Lab podcast, it was an episode about trauma. And Dr. Conti, who was a guest in this episode, mentioned that sometimes people have traumas and don’t even know about them. This triggered me to check if I had some unconscious issues that I was not aware of and I scheduled appointment with mental health professional. I used my favorite app Zocdoc in order to find a doctor. It was very easy and in couple of days I had my telemedicine conversation with Master of Social Work (MSW). It went really well. I was glad that I did it. My MSW asked some very interesting questions and told me that I might have wrong beliefs that can cause me suffering. I will continue working with this specialist and will see where it will lead me.

I also want to share two ideas that I got after my breakup.

When I introduced myself to my French classmates I mentioned in French that my boyfriend left me and I decided to take French class because of that. Our teacher said that I used past tense correctly and that the phrase “m’a quitté” (left me) is a great example, she kept repeating it to others and I realized that if we don’t attach emotions to the event, it doesn’t look good or bad, it just is. But when we attach our feelings, we judge it as good or bad and we can get upset. I thought it was an interesting observation.

And the other idea that I got was from my communication class. They said, “If someone behaves badly, it’s because they don’t know how to meet their needs in any other way at this moment”. It is so true! We all want to be happy and we all use resources that we have. And it is important to respect other people’s needs and understand that some of them can have limited resources.

I think that my breakup was very unpleasant, but at the same time very useful experience. It helped me to try new things and it made me a little bit wiser. I want to stay positive and appreciate everything I have in life, including some not very nice events. In life we meet different people and some of them have different values, but all of them teach us a lesson one way or another. So I am thankful for this short relationship and I am glad that I was able to make a good use of it! Thank you Life!

My main message is that it is important to support yourself in difficult situation, take care of yourself through things that might be beneficial in a long run and things that bring joy in present moment!

Be Strong And Love Yourself!

From Dasha With Love!

Love Wins!