How To Deal With Sensitivity
Hi my dear readers! I am so happy lately. My life has been so good! I have some major changes right now and I am very thankful for them. Maybe at some point I will share my news, but not today :-)
In this post I want to talk about sensitivity. I am very sensitive by nature, I can be anxious and have worries. In order to explain what does it mean to be sensitive I would like to bring up a sunburn analogy. If someone has skinned burned and they take a shower, the water drops will hurt them. In normal circumstances shower should be pleasant, but if your skin is very sensitive because of the sun, simple shower can be quite painful. The same way some people can be very sensitive to the words, events, actions. They might have mean thoughts as a reaction and suffer because of them. Sensitive people might experience pain in situations where normal people wouldn’t.
I think that there are two main reasons for sensitivity. I am not a scientist, it’s just my assumption. One reason can be simply our genes. Some people are just born very sensitive. And second reason is of course our experiences, which by the way can trigger (turn on and off) our genes.
Now let me share some tips for someone who suffers from sensitivity and for someone who is dating a sensitive person.
Self- help tips:
Learn how to sit through the pain. I don’t think it is possible to become less sensitive, but it is possible to learn how to react in a proper way and decrease the amount of suffering. I like to sit through the emotional pain and prove myself that I can do it, before I act. We have a tendency to avoid pain, but if you always try to escape unpleasant feelings, you can become their slave. But if you learn how to accept your own suffering, you become a master of your emotions.
Meditate. Mindfulness helps me to understand my feelings and notice my negative thoughts patterns. And it helps not get sucked into them too much. When you meditate, you get detached from your thoughts and they have less power over you. It can help you not to react to certain events and avoid problems.
Don’t blame others. If you are very sensitive, you might overreact and things that sound painful to you, might be normal to others. Remember shower example? So don’t run into conclusions that someone was trying to hurt you, don’t take things too personally and don’t wasting your time on blaming. If someone is really mean to you, just don’t talk to this person.
Speak up. As I keep saying in this article, people are different, they perceived things differently and might have no idea that you experience pain. And you need to share how you feel, so people who care about you, can help you.
If you are dating someone sensitive:
Don’t try to change your partner. If they are sensitivity, there is a huge probability, that they will stay this way. And if you don’t have a desire to deal with a sensitive person, you probably should just let them go. I worked a lot on myself, my development and mindfulness, but I am still sensitive, and I always will be. And I personally want to be with someone who can accept this sensitive part of me and not trying to make me tougher or something.
Try not to be judgmental. It is hard to be sensitive to begin with. And if on top of that you are getting judged by your partner, it is even harder. We all have some imperfections, and if we try to build relationships, instead of judging each other, we can be understanding and supportive.
Show that you care. It makes the world for a sensitive person to know that they can rely on someone, that there is a partner, who understand them and can try to help. If you tell them that you care, if you show it through your actions, you will get a lot of gratitude and love in return!
Sensitive partner can be slow. Please keep in mind that sensitive person might take time to process information or event. It might be difficult to have a conversation in such case, but please try to be understanding. If your partner is sensitive and doesn’t get back with reply right away, it doesn’t mean they don’t care or they are mad, they just need time to deal with emotional pain first. When I get upset, I get scared, I cannot think straight, I cannot be wise. So I usually need some time to put myself together, before I am able to hold a conversation. So please be aware of this quality of sensitive people and try to be patient.
I understand that it might be challenging to be sensitive or to date a sensitive person. But I also think that sensitivity is at the same time a gift! It is a gift of love, compassion, understanding. And it is beautiful! Accept it and enjoy it!
Be Strong And Love Yourself!
From Dasha With Love!
Love Wins!
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